“Marriage is honorable among all and the bed undefiled, but fornicators and adulterers God will judge”… Hebrews 13:4


Today many matured single women; widowed, divorced or never married have found themselves willingly or unwillingly in the position of a second wife. The truth is that it is not a situation that most women desire but their circumstances have sometimes forced them into it.

However Circumstances can take us far away from our dreams and our places of destiny. Disappointments, broken dreams, unfulfilled expectations sometimes take the place of perfect settings and fulfilled dreams.


Women are created to receive love, the general belief is that they are the weaker sex and so need to be constantly pampered and showered with love through life. But the truth and the reality is that women end up giving more love than they receive, in sacrificing time, personal pleasures and everything else imaginable because they love their husbands and children fiercely. It is a misguided idea to say that women are weaker than men. Yes, the bible says they are physically weaker but never indicates that they are weaker in any other way.

A lot of women are misguided into believing that they must receive that love from a man at all costs but love found in the wrong place is ungodly love, it is against the will of God.

So it is not acceptable for a woman to end up as a second wife to any man purely because she is looking for love. The truth is no man can love you like your heavenly father does.


Many women end up as second wives because of the fear of the future.

How will I pay rent?, how will I go on holidays?, how will I pay the children’s school fees?

Yes these needs are there and they can be quite daunting especially when you are out of a job or your business isn’t doing too well, but we serve a faithful God who is called the “waymaker”, He will always make a way for you if you rely on Him and worship him in spirit and in truth, believe me, as a single parent, I have been there many times and I can testify to His goodness and faithfulness.

If you intentionally pursue a man to become his second wife because of the comfort he can offer you, you have no self worth, no dignity, no integrity and are only after material gains from the man, and God will judge you according to the works of your hands.


Before you become a second wife, you must be involved in an affair with the married man and a married man who is involved in extramarital affairs is a player.

The term “Player” says it all, for when it comes to matters of love and romance, a player sees it all as just one big game. This kind of man has only one goal in mind: He wants to come out of the game a winner no matter who gets hurt.

And how does a player win? By scoring, of course… with as many women as possible, but be rest assured that this man will certainly get his reward, because the bedrock of your happiness cannot be based on somebody else’s misfortune and you get away with it. God is not mocked; whatever a man sows he will reap!


Many women who are believing God for their own life partners give up after a while. They think they have no hope and no future as a single woman so they fall prey to the ungodly advances of the men who take advantage of their situation. These men come with inviting but empty promises for the future, and the women fall for them.

Some widows if not properly counseled and without a very strong family support, can end up with men who claim to have pity for their situations but take advantage of their vulnerability by turning them into their second wife

The devil will take advantage of women’s vulnerability and weak emotional states because the devil hates women, but however don’t think that because Satan is against you, success and standing for what is right is impossible to achieve.

God is on your side to see you through every difficult time. You don’t have to conform to the way of the world when you find yourself in a vulnerable position. You just need to be bold enough to say “NO” when the world says, “YES”. Turning yourself into a second wife for whatever reason is not only a bad idea; it is also sinful and totally unacceptable to God. It is a lose-lose situation for all. There are only two paths that this kind of relationship can take and both of them end in disaster. One path is that he’ll tell you that he loves you and plans on leaving his first wife. Of course, this will never happen because most men are never bold enough to do that. He will keep telling you that he wants to wait for the right time but the timing is never right.

The other path that this torrid affair can take is that he may in fact leave his wife. Or more likely, she’ll leave him when she discovers that he’s a two-timer. And then what do you have? You have a man who’s proven himself to be a cheat. How can you ever trust such a man? And why would you allow yourself to be caught in such a mess.


If you think about it, why should a married man who can have you as a second wife, ever leave his wife when he has the best of both worlds? He has a woman at home who cooks for him and cares for his children, and then he has you on the side to wear all the trashy lingerie that his wife refuses to wear. So he turns you on and off like a battery when he wishes. You have no choice but to hang on year after year, waking up alone every morning and praying that he can slip away every night to keep you company on those lonely nights. And in the end you’ll realize that you’ve wasted the best and most wrinkle-free years of your life on a man who has strung you along like a pull toy.


My sister wake up, and ask yourself, is it all worth it? Why live a life of deception and false sense of security. That man can never be your own as long as he is married to someone else because God is not in the business of breaking marriages. Believe God for your own husband and he will grant your heart’s desires.

So woman, why not stand up for righteousness today and believe God for your own Romeo. There is nothing impossible with our God. Women who have stood their grounds have found love again even at the age of 50 or more. I know of a woman who was never married till she attained the age of 70, yes 70!!!

A renowned man of God who lost his wife recently married a 65year old woman who had never been married. So what is it that our Lord cannot do?

Rahab, (in the bible), was a prostitute who met the Lord and was granted forgiveness. She ended up in the lineage of Jesus Christ.

Why not turn to Him today by giving your life to Him. If you are ready to do this please pray along with me;


Lord Jesus, I am a sinner. Please come into my life and forgive me all my sins. I believe you died for my sins and rose from the dead. Now fill me with your Holy Spirit and guide me from this day forward.

Thank you Lord for loving and saving me, Amen.




God bless you

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *